Holiday Bae: Things To Know Before They Meet The Family
The Holidays are around the corner and it’s time to ask that age-old question. Should my family meet my boyfriend or girlfriend? Whether you just started dating or it’s been awhile. It's time to see if your new bae is worthy and strong enough to survive your family.
I say avoid them meeting your family until necessary. Not because you’re embarrassed by your new significant other. But because meeting the family means serious business. On both sides. I’ve come up with some tips to make sure you survive the awkward silences and passive aggressive conversions. If you’re ready for these two worlds to collide, here are three things to take into account.
Reflection
When thinking about bringing your love interest to meet the family. Reflect on if your relationship is serious enough for this step? The thing is, when you take your significant other home everyone is going to think it’s serious. Which is fine, if it is. But if you know in your heart that this person isn’t gonna last passed the holidays. Then don’t take them home. If you do really like this person, but you’re still anxious. Try to find clarity on what’s making you feel that way. Are you scared of your family’s opinion? What they’ll think or say? These are normal issues. Even if we hate to admit it, our family can alter the way we look at our partner.
When you’re assessing the situation. Make sure you’re strong in the positive attributes of the person you’re dating. That way if anyone says something off putting you can defend your love! Instead of question it.
However, if you feel you have to defend or give disclaimers all the time for the person you're dating. Even when not meeting the family. It’s best to reflect to make sure you’re in a healthy relationship and not a wack one.
Potential Outcomes
There are two possible outcomes to introducing your partner to your family for the first time. It goes amazing and they welcome them with open arms. Or the outcome we dread, they hate them and question why the hell you’re dating this person.
Let’s face it, you want your partner to feel welcomed by your family. But you never know what’s going to happen when it comes to first impressions. And first impressions matter. I find it’s great to give your partner a cheat sheet. Which means I prepare them with talking points and tidbits so they can connect and make a lasting impression.
It may take time for your family to warm up to them. That’s okay, as long as they give them a fair shot. The potential outcome of this dinner with family should be fun and inviting. Keep it casual and upbeat. Also, adding drinks to the situation can make it better. Just not too many drinks where your girlfriend or boyfriend embarrass themselves.
Communication
When in doubt talk it out! We have to try to focus on the positive when it comes to meeting the family. By doing so you can prepare your partner and your family without focusing on the negative. As I mentioned above, this is where the cheat sheet comes in handy. If you have crazy relatives give your partner a heads up. Break down some of the family dynamic to avoid potential fails. Like, your aunt and uncle that don't speak to each other. Your brothers ex-wife and new wife that look alike and have similar names. That one relative that only says politically incorrect statements. Focus on having strong communication with your partner so you can have an understanding between each other.
At the end of day, you want your partner to get along with the people that mean the world to you. By reflecting on your relationship, planing out for any possible outcomes and communicating. These things will allow you both to laugh and hold each others hand through this awkward time.
Also, bonus tip always bring wine and try to not kill each other.
What are your tips to help make this smoother?
XO
WYT TEAM
